Surprise You Are A Mom !: Words Hurt


Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Words Hurt

You may or may not have noticed my slow incline of my posts, YouTube, and other social medias.
No nothing drastic has happened to me. And no I am not quitting blogging. 
Love blogging too much and have met so many amazing people. Even though I've never met them in person. 
It has been more due a comment that my mother in law has made that completely discouraged me in many ways. 
As many of you know I'm a stay at home mom. And if your a mom that works or is a stay at home mom you might of  heard this comment before: 
"You're a stay at home mom you have plenty of time!" or "You're a stay at home mom? You don't do much."
I've personally never been told this in person until a couple of weeks ago by my mother in law. 
I just want to be clear I am in no way bashing my mother in law. We get along great. Never really had any problems.
I've always heard of scenarios of mothers bashing other mothers by the way raise their kids or give their two cents about the moms that decide to stay home instead of working.
I always say if it works for you then it works for you. There is no set way of doing things. 
When I hear negative comments from strangers  I don't take it personal cause they truly don't know me or what's my situation. 

Yes, I am a stay at home mom. I honestly wanted to work instead of staying home. 
My husband and I tried it for a week and it was too much and too costly. So we made the decision for me to stay home with our daughter. 
It was hard for me. Cause I've always made my own money and now I had to truly depend on someone financially. Over time I've grown to love being a stay at home mom. It was the best decision we've made.
But when my mother in law blurt out the statement "Maritza doesn't do anything" from her mouth I felt extremely hurt. I couldn't say anything. I was very lucky that my husband was there to defend me. 
Those words made me feel unimportant, what I was doing was pure laziness and that I didn't want to work.
At first I shook it off. Kept telling myself that I do plenty and that my mother in law doesn't know what she is talking about.
After hanging out with my neighbor and a new friend of mine making kind of the same remarks. It made me doubt if I was really not doing nothing.
Then it later on took a snowfall effect on me. Anytime I had some free time I would push myself to do more work around the house. Deep clean a room or organize something. I would be so exhausted at the end of the day that my blog has ended up suffering. 
My husband of course noticed that I wouldn't stop and asked if its cause of the comment. 
He reassured me that I do plenty and I don't need to prove anything. 
After a while I was tired of feeling guilty, depressed and upset over the comments. I decided to start enjoying the time with my daughter and husband. I even started scrapbooking too.

I can't change my mother in law's perception that she has of me. 
To be honest as long as my husband understands and appreciate what I deal with daily then it doesn't matter what others think. This is what works best for us.

Being a mom (or dad) is a lot of work. That sometimes friends and family tend to forget. Whether they haven't been in the parent stage in their life or if it's been a while since they had little children.
The following video is a great way to show how much mothers( and fathers) do.

Have your friends, family or complete strangers made these comments before? How did you overcome your depression/guilty/etc? 
What works for your family ? Being a stay at home mom or a working mom? 
Love hearing from you so comment down below :)
Have a wonderful day !

Here is an article of a Dad's perception of SAHM completely changed after he became a stay at home dad